Pulled over for speeding..

A Man is pulled over by the police for speeding. As the police officer is writing up the ticket, The man asks "Can you arrest me for calling you something really abusive?" "Yes" replies the officer. He then asks, "Can you arrest me for thinking something?" "Of course not" replies the officer. "In that case, "Says the man, "I think you're a cunt."

I've written to royal mail..

I've written a letter to the Royal Mail to complain about my post being stolen. To make sure they see it I've put it inside a birthday card.