Proof That Men Are Better Friends Than Women......

Proof That Men Are Better Friends Than Women.

A blokes wife didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she slept at a friends house. So her husband calls her 10 best friends and none of them know anything about it.

So one night, he didn't come home. The next morning he says he slept over at a friends house. His wife calls his 10 best friends. 8 confirm that he slept over and 2 said he was still there!

A Letter To Mum....

A letter to mum........A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed  was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum.' With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Mum. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.  

But it's not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Nicholas.

P.S.. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk! I love you!   Call when it is safe for me to come home x

I'm the pervert!!!

Fucking police. The woman over the road stands naked in her window watching me having a wank and I'm the pervert?

Ashley Cole shoots intern...

News: Ashley Cole shoots intern from 5 foot. Torres had a shot but missed.

One low mileage open top bus for sale...

FOR SALE: one open top bus extremly low mileage contact arsenal f.c

Pulled over for speeding..

A Man is pulled over by the police for speeding. As the police officer is writing up the ticket, The man asks "Can you arrest me for calling you something really abusive?" "Yes" replies the officer. He then asks, "Can you arrest me for thinking something?" "Of course not" replies the officer. "In that case, "Says the man, "I think you're a cunt."

I've written to royal mail..

I've written a letter to the Royal Mail to complain about my post being stolen. To make sure they see it I've put it inside a birthday card.